To me, loving someone means unconditionally. But, we say that we love things so often it loses its meaning. Like I love sushi (okay I do but it deserves it!) or like I love chocolate. But why is it so hard to say I love you to the people that matter in your life, or more importantly, to yourself? I’ve struggled with this question all my life. The concept of loving yourself seemed foreign to me. How do you even go about that? If loving means unconditionally it almost seems impossible to love yourself, with all the flaws you have (not you, me, you’re perfect).
For a long time, I could only see the flaws in myself, not the perfections. It’s so easy to get caught up in hating yourself, because it’s much easier to feel hatred towards something, than to love unconditionally. I used to think that maybe if you could find someone who loves you for you that I could learn how to do it through them. I mean, they fell in love with me, how hard can it be? Well I tried that and it didn’t work. And that’s because self-love doesn’t come from another person (oh yeah, that’s why it’s called self-love). It comes from inside yourself. It’s only been in the last two years that I’ve come to know and love myself. It wasn’t easy and I’m still working on it, but here are some things I learned that might help someone out there struggling like I was (and still am):
My Five Tips on How to Love Yourself:
- Look at yourself in the mirror for a full ten seconds. Just ten, no more no less. If you can look at yourself and feel happy and proud of who you are, you probably don’t need to read the rest of this, it sounds like you’re already doing a great job of loving yourself. However, if you find it hard to look into the mirror, if what is staring back at you doesn’t feel or look like how you want, then keep reading. To start loving yourself, you need to be comfortable even looking at yourself. I mean really looking and appreciating what’s there. The first challenge is to look and not to think about anything, don’t point out your flaws, don’t think about how this is a waste of time. It is not, I promise you.
- Secondly, give yourself a compliment and make it true. There’s so much to like about yourself and you’re missing it being caught up in the mirage of faults that you assume you have. Smile, you’re beautiful, and when you start to realize it, you’ll see that you don’t even need someone else to point it out, you just are.
- Thirdly, stop obsessing and trying to cover your natural beauty. If you’re like me, you love to use make up. Sure, it’s nice to have the plethora of choices of colors to use, but use it in moderation. Make up is there to enhance your natural beauty, not to cover it and turn you into someone you’re not. It’s taken me a long time to get past this step, so don’t be surprised if it takes a little while. I know you’ll get there.
- Fourthly, wear whatever the hell you want. You think that just because you look a certain way that you can’t rock that top? Do it, I’m sure you’ll look fabulous! Clothing is an expression of who you are. If you like it, own it. The world wants to see who you really are.
- Lastly, don’t give up. I’ve done this many times. I start to have a period of self-reflection and say, “Hey I’m going to start doing this so that I’m happy with myself!”. It never worked, not until I was rock bottom and knew the only way I’d get out of my situation was to start loving myself. It’s difficult, sometimes impossible, but it’s worth it. To be able to look into the mirror and say, “Damn I’m sexy!” and actually feel it is incredible. I’ll admit, I still struggle with this. I still see the weight I carry or the spots on my face or the way I waddle when I walk (but I kind of look like a penguin so it’s not even that bad!). But your face is a piece of art, a canvas to get messy and play around with. It’s changeable, like you are. So don’t give up, not even for a minute, you’re going to get there. Be happy, be bright, be you <3
Thanks for reading, please like, share, and subscribe for more ways you can change your life for the better!